The Miracle of Life
by Amberle Elessedil
Summary: On an otherwise unremarkable day in late September, Holly Short discovered she was pregnant. Artemis is...less than thrilled. My take on an overused theme, featuring horrific puns, pillow talk and absolutely no-one called Diana. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**The Miracle of Life**

_Part the First_

_**Making the decision to have a child-it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.**_

_Elizabeth Stone_

On an otherwise unremarkable day in late September, Artemis Fowl foiled the attempts of three gnomes who had kidnapped a demon warlock with the intent of reversing the events of the battle of Tallite and wiping humanity from existence, and Holly Short discovered she was pregnant. The medic who made the announcement following what had been a routine check-up seemed uncertain of how to proceed. Rumours about Holly Short and Artemis Fowl were passed around like a ragged gossip mag (had fairy gossip actually been printed anytime in the last four centuries) but the closest thing to an 'official' source was Grub Kelp. The Corporal had once gotten drunk in _Tyr na Grog_ and confessed to walking into Foaly's office just as the centaur was reviewing the footage of Captain Short's most recent topside mission, after which, it seemed, she had paid Fowl a visit and neglected to remove her Iris Cam.

"I am demanding compensation," the Corporal had slurred over his second cup of sim wine, "For psychological trauma." His elder brother, who had arrived to carry him home twenty minutes later, had declined to comment.

"You should come back for a full scan next week," said the medic on that otherwise unremarkable day, as her patient blinked in shock. She hesitated, but soldiered bravely on, "If the…ah…father wishes to accompany you…"

Holly's glazed look sharpened a little and a wry smile tugged at the corner of her mouth, "He's been banned from Haven," she said candidly, "Three times now, I think. And it would be so inconvenient if the Council mindwiped him again. It tends to set him back morally, you see, and I would like him to be able to set some sort of good example for our child."

***

Self-satisfying frivolities aside, Holly was unsure how to go about telling Artemis The News. She half hoped, in a rare moment of appreciation for his analytical prowess, that he would have worked it out for himself. But he had nothing to work with, really-it was too early for her figure to be showing any changes, elves did not suffer from morning sickness and she hadn't seen him often enough lately for him to have noticed the telltale absence of monthly events. She requested an aboveground visa from Trouble, who said that she needn't bother taking an Iris Cam, somewhat to her confusion, and told Artemis that she was coming for the weekend.

_I cannot claim to have forgotten your face, _his reply read, _But you cannot refresh my memory too often._ Coming from Artemis, who was awkward about expressions of emotion and even more so when the words remained as typed or written evidence, this was bordering on erotica. Thinking wistfully of a weekend with him in such a mood, Holly sighed. Then again, she mused, things with Artemis were rarely uncomplicated. If it wasn't this, there would probably be an arch-villain or two to deal with.

He met her in the grounds, where he once again contrived to be expecting her despite her suit's supposed invulnerability to human surveillance. Even unshielded as she was, she should have been able to sneak into the mud people's most high security venues undetected. But not Fowl Manor. Artemis was already scanning the sky when she caught sight of him, and when she flicked the switch that disabled the cam-foil function of her suit she caught sight of Butler waving from the upstairs window. _I'm so glad they're on our side,_ she thought, the most recent of many, many times, and alighted on the grass in front of Artemis. He moved towards her, still pale and thin, taller than when she first knew him now, the features altered subtly but still familiar and beloved. Watching them light up, the furrows on his brow worn smooth by welcome and delight, Holly abandoned her plans to tell him at once. She'd do it over dinner. He reached her at last and she wrapped her arms around him, feeling the warmth of him and the beat of his human heart. He kissed her cheeks and her closed eyelids before moving to her mouth.

"Mother and Butler are here," he said after several long moments, voice soft and deep in a way that made her shiver, "Juliet has taken the twins into Dublin and father is…_golfing_," he said the word with mild distaste, "Mother wants to dine with us. Is that alright?"

"Of course," Holly told him, and smiled. _So much for over dinner, then._

***

So much for dinner indeed. The meal, though enjoyable, took up the majority of the evening and gave Holly no opportunity to pull Artemis aside and drop her bombshell, even if she had trusted his ability to return to the dinner table and make casual conversation with him mother over the cheeseboard. After dinner came drinks and as Holly could not take liquor with humans under any circumstances there was no way to plant the idea in his mind then either. At last Angeline yawned and suggested that it was time they retired, informing Holly with the grace of a true hostess that her usual room above the library was all ready for her. At this point Holly agreed that it was late, and if Butler found it strange that a nocturnal woman should be claiming sleepiness at 11.30 in the evening, or that his young master, who habitually worked until the small hours, should express the same fatigue, he said nothing about it.

Fifteen minutes later, as Holly alighted on Artemis's windowsill and was immediately drawn inside in a tumble of limbs and questing lips, she decided that her announcement could once again wait until later.

Perhaps the delays counted against her in the end, for there really was no opportune moment to tell him and the sweetness of their meeting only sharpened what came later. The following morning they were lying in each other's arms while he stroked her hair and discoursed at length about some scientific theory about which Holly cared very little, when she discovered that she simply could not keep the information from him any longer. So without so much as waiting for a pause in his lecture, she blurted out, "Artemis, I'm pregnant," and waited.

His hand on her hair froze. After a full minute of silence, Holly twisted around to look at his face. His features were curiously blank, his eyes unfocussed. _He's meditating,_ Holly thought. Then, _No, he's actually in shock._ She raised herself to her knees and shook him by the shoulders.

"Artemis?"

He blinked and resurfaced, though the expression on his face remained unreadable. Holly watched anxiously as he licked his lips and cleared his throat twice before the words came, in a voice that cracked like it hadn't done since he was much younger.

"I…you never said anything. I assumed cross-fertilisation wasn't possible between the species, that it would have been forward of me to enquire…"

"I didn't know it could happen," Holly admitted, "Stupid of me, I know." She realised that she was trembling. Her training kicked in; slowing her heartbeat, schooling her breath, but not before he felt the vibrations through her fingers and moved to still her hands in his.

"And you?" his eyes travelled over her face, hungry like they were on Hybras, or on the night they first made love, "Are you well? Have there been previous cases that you were unaware of, or have there been no hybrids before now? Do your doctors anticipate complications?"

_So much for joy over our unborn child,_ Holly thought sourly. Just like Artemis to reduce everything to science. At least he'd placed her wellbeing first, which was something.

"I'm fine," she told him firmly, "A little tired, but that's normal. There _have_ been unions between fairies and humans, but not for millennia. They say Merlin was one. And complications…" she paused, but she had always been a terrible liar and hypocrisy was no way to deal with him just when she was making progress, "The baby is…larger than normal. I won't be able to deliver her-or him-the traditional way."

"How far advanced is the pregnancy?"

"Almost four months," he raised his eyebrows and she squirmed, "I've been _busy_, alright? And worried, with you playing hide and seek with those gnomes."

"But you said the foetus was larger…" he put a hand to her stomach, his brows knitting.

"Elvish pregnancies last a year," she explained, covering his fingers with her own, "We don't show until the seventh or eighth month, normally. I'm going to have _horrible_ stretch marks and with no magic to wish them away I bet I get stuck with them forever…"

"Wait," his voice cut through her babbling like a dwarf's incisors through clay, "What do you mean, no magic?"

"One thing the medics managed to dredge up from before Tallite is that the magical status of the child is variable. If our baby doesn't have magic it can be harmful to have all that power bouncing about in the body carrying it. I've siphoned off the rest of my magic and I'm not to perform the ritual until after the birth."

Artemis pulled back now and Holly's waist felt cold where his hands had been. The lines of his face had a rigid cast now, as if he were keeping them very tightly under control, and his voice hummed with suppressed emotion.

"Let me determine whether I have heard you correctly, Holly. You intend to have a child the like of which has not been borne in thousands of years, which is already placing abnormal demands on your body, and you intend to do it _without_ a single spark of magic to rely on should things go wrong? Are you _certain_ you wish to do this?"

"As opposed to what?" Holly grabbed the sheet and wrapped it around her, feeling naked and exposed before him for the first time that morning, "Artemis _as opposed to what?_"

He said nothing. Holly felt dizzy and a little sick. Maybe this was how it felt to be a pregnant mud woman. She hadn't expected jubilation-the idea of her and Artemis as parents was at best laughable. Frond knew how they would bring up a child when she had to fight for every topside visa and his father and brothers still considered elves the stuff of fairytales and Tolkien. But she had never imagined, not for a second, that he'd want her to…

There was a knock on the door. While Holly was certain that nothing that went on in Fowl Manor quite escaped Butler's notice, he nevertheless gave every sign of believing that Artemis and Holly bid each other goodnight every evening and met again at the breakfast table. It was a daily ritual for the enormous manservant to inspect his charge's room first thing in the morning and last thing at night, but after that embarrassing incident when Artemis was twenty he always made sure to knock. Holly knew she had a couple of minutes before Butler entered with coffee and a bomb detector, so she busied herself with her suit and the wings that would carry her back to her room.

"Holly…" Artemis started from the bed. He was as thin as ever and since he _would_ insist on a four poster the vast expanse of sheets tended to dwarf him, making him look like a child taking a turn in his parents' bed. The sight usually made Holly smile, but now she wondered whether Artemis thought he was too young, at twenty four, to have a child. Too young for _her._

"We'll talk later," she said, shortly, and left him in the bed.

***

"I'm sorry," he said later, when she came to him. They were on the front steps, which the manor cast into shadow in the hours before noon. She would have preferred a warmer spot, to be honest, and with her power gone there were not even the diluting effects of the sun to consider. She thought about mentioning this to Artemis, but his reaction before when she had mentioned her lack of magic still hung in the air between them. Besides, if she asked and he acquiesced, he might think he had gone some way towards mending things between them, and she was not ready to forgive him yet. She meant to, of course-but not until he admitted that he hadn't meant the thing he'd suggested earlier. For of course he would admit it. She refused to entertain the notion that he would not.

He reached for her when she sat beside him but she drew back. This in itself was not unusual; Mulch had once said that Holly and Artemis spent half their time together screaming themselves hoarse-and the other half fighting. On any other occasion he would have been charming and contrite and, as she began to thaw, assured her only half in jest that he 'couldn't do without her'. She would have laughed. They would have made up, or made love.

"I didn't know you wanted children," he said at last. Holly's earlier verdict, that he hadn't meant his words that morning, dipped and turned hazy. If he didn't want this child, she wondered, what did that mean for them?

"You don't?" she asked and squared her shoulders, waiting for the blow.

"I've never thought about it," when Holly, who had long ago decided that there was nothing on earth to which Artemis had not given _far too much_ thought, raised an eyebrow, he hastened to clarify, "When I was young it was never an issue. By the time I was old enough to consider the matter, there was you. I didn't think it was an option for us. And if it wasn't, then it wasn't on my agenda. I'm very…single-minded about the things I want."

And didn't she know it. Softening a little despite herself, understanding how the mind could reel and throw down shutters when presented with something long thought unattainable, Holly confessed, "I didn't think it was possible either. And I've never exactly seen myself as the mothering type. But…"

"You would be an…amazing mother," Artemis shook his head a little sadly, "How could you not be? You're so _good._ But this is not your only chance. You have hundreds of years left to you, after me. But I…" he paused, but though the words brought colour to his cheeks and his mismatched eyes slid away from hers, there was no lie in them, "I will never love _anyone_ but you. I will never want _anything_ else. And I will _not_ risk losing you for the sake of a child I never would have risked fathering had I but known it was possible."

Anger and relief bloomed simultaneously in Holly's chest. _So that's his problem. Stupid mud man. It's not that he doesn't want the baby, he just wants me more._ And at the same time, with equal strength, _So he's decided he can't outlive me, has he? And what about me? I can keep him as safe as I like, he's still going to leave me._

"Don't I get a say in this?" her eyes filmed before she impatiently blinked them dry, "You think I don't know you're going to die? I don't want to spend my life in mourning. I don't want to wake up every morning and remember and I don't want anyone else either. But _our child_…" she fumbled for the phrases that escaped her, to put into words the pictures in her mind. Artemis's blue eyes watching her long after he was dead and gone. The echo of his voice as a smart-mouthed grandchild turned a phrase, "Our child and their children, that's proof. It's something that lasts beyond your life and mine and says look, they loved each other. And _yes,_ Artemis, I _will_ risk dying for that."

He looked her full in the face for a long moment. Holly tried, the latest of many times, to remember exactly when he had become so dear to her. It was such a helpless feeling, loving him like this. For a second she thought he was searching her face for something, then he sighed and dropped his gaze, looking suddenly and endearingly young. "I'm sorry, Holly," he said again.

She watched him, biting her lower lip. He loved her. She had never doubted that, even before she knew her own heart. If it were his life in danger, how would she react? He needed time; that was all. Reaching out, she took his hand in her own, interlocking their fingers. "Oh, Arty," she said, "I'm going to be _fine_."

He turned to her with something like desperation and she let him hold her, burying his face in her neck and tracing gnomish spirals beneath her shoulder blades. _Yes, my love, you are, _she thought she felt him write. And then once again, although she could have been mistaken, _I'm sorry._

A/N: Part the second up soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Miracle of Life**

_Part the second_

It was timing that presented the major problem. Even assuming that elfin pregnancies proceeded at three quarters the rate of human ones, his method of choice was already technically non-viable according the General Medical Council. Based on the dates of Holly's visits in the summer months, Artemis calculated that she was fourteen and a half weeks pregnant-still in the equivalent of her first trimester but two and a half weeks too late for mifepristone. Of course it was all artifice, persuading himself that this was any different from drugging Holly and performing the operation surgically. The only difference was that the first method could, just possibly, be explained away as a miscarriage.

Artemis fully expected to hate himself forever. He was not even certain that he would be able to hold Holly as she wept and not confess his guilt. As to what he would do if she looked him in the eye and asked if he was responsible, he was undecided. The fact of the matter was that this plan was not logical-if Holly discovered the truth, everything would be broken between them and he would lose her as completely as if she were dead. But she was all that was good about him and he didn't know what the world was like without her in it except that there was madness in it. So in the wake of his decision, which he had come to that morning on the manor steps, he told Holly that he had a lecture to prepare that day but that he would be happy to see her for brunch the following morning. She had been known to sit beside him while he worked, but he had correctly predicted that she would want some time away from him that day. She fired up her stealth-suit and went flying over the Irish Sea and he walked to the wing of the house set aside for his use and descended to his makeshift laboratory.

He was in no way immune to the morbidity of manufacturing a drug that would abort-_kill_-his unborn child. He could have had the medicine delivered-it would have been a small matter to register Fowl Manor as a medical storage site-but he preferred to make it himself, with a couple of alterations that increased the effectiveness at this later date and reduced the risk of side effects. In the room that had appropriately once been used a dungeon of sorts, Artemis mixed and measured his own particular brand of poison. Nightshade and bats' blood would have been more appropriate, brewed at the dark of the moon. In the stories it was always the women who made the potions; weathered old hedge witches who handed them over to pale girls in alleyways in exchange for a few grimy coins. The message was clear: children are women's business. _But love?_ he thought, _We men are allowed our say in that, surely? Cupid was a man, after all. And I do love her._

He was almost finished when there was a knock at the door. Artemis's hand jerked and he nearly ruined the titration. Carefully unscrewing the burette, he called, "Yes?"

It was Beckett. Though the Fowl twins were not identical, they were similar enough-in height and build and curly hair-that they were often mistaken for each other anyway. The lighting by the door was too dim to make out the boy's features, but while both Artemis's younger brothers tended to dress 'casually' (he had another word for it) only Beckett would choose to wear a muddy football strip and manage not to notice the twigs caught in his light brown hair. He was clutching an exercise book and had a disgruntled look on his face, presumably at the thought of the studies that had interrupted his sport. Artemis himself had worn much the same look when forced to take part in gym classes as a child.

"Artemis, will you help me with my French homework? Myles says he's done it, but I think he's taking the mick."

_Taking it where?_ His elder brother might have joked on another occasion. This time he reached out one hand and accepted the grubby jotter. After a moment or two he closed it.

"What was the topic?"

"Um…" Beckett screwed up his nose, which was freckled from the sun, "A letter to someone in class, using the vocab we've learned so far. Name, age, family. That kind of stuff."

"I see," Artemis tapped the cover, "If you wish to seduce your friend through a risqué love letter, you couldn't ask for better. You proclaim yourself a lover to rival Napoleon and state that whoever labelled the French as great romantics clearly hadn't met you or your brothers."

Beckett groaned, "I _knew_ that didn't mean 'My brothers and I enjoy trips to the seaside'. We _never_ go to the seaside." But there was a reddish cast to his cheeks and Artemis did not miss it.

"A pretty friend, Beckett?"

"She's alright," his brother shifted in embarrassment and a twelve-year-old's pride, "But I wish Myles would keep his nose out. It's my business. If I mess things up I'll do it on my own, thanks."

Artemis was abruptly dissatisfied with the conversation, and not just because twelve was, in his opinion, far too young to have a girlfriend. He returned the book to Beckett and bent over his titration once again. "Ask Butler to help you-his French is fluent. Better yet, do it yourself. The exercise is not difficult. It should take you ten minutes at the most."

"With my second-rate mind, yeah?" Beckett grinned with the easy good humour that people always commented on in him and his twin. _Serious little chap, isn't he?_ They had said of Artemis at the same age, or _that kid scares me _(this one out of earshot), "I'll give it fifteen and then ask Butler to check it. And if you see Myles before I do, tell him I _don't_ need his help with girls. 'Brotherly concern' doesn't mean he gets to screw with my life."

And he left, Artemis's little brother, shedding grass and clods of earth and leaving Artemis with a lot more to think about than Myles's filthy vocabulary.

***

Finishing took longer than it should have done. 600mg should do the job effectively, he thought. Holly did not drink 'mudman fruit-juice', claiming the preservatives made her vomit, but she found it hard enough to stay awake during the day that she would take a little coffee. The difference in taste would actually work to his advantage, as Holly would be less likely to detect the taste of the drug, especially if he made her coffee strong. The drug would remain in her system for some time, but there was nothing he could do about that. He could only hope that her medics, sceptical as they were about the feasibility of bringing an elf-human hybrid to term, would not think to check.

His ring communicator vibrated against his hand. Artemis raised it to his mouth, "Good evening, Holly."

"Evening," she sounded amiable enough, "Done with your lecture?"

"I've finished the notes, yes."

"Good. I'm still on the coast. There's a shuttle-port near here with a sleep-pod attached. I could crash out here and fly over tomorrow?"

The question was there, unspoken between them. Artemis closed his eyes and massaged them with his free hand, thankful that Holly couldn't see, "Father is home tonight. He'll probably want to have drinks. I haven't spoken to him in a while; he's obsessed with trying to get his handicap down…"

"That's fine," said Holly quickly, cutting him off before he could embellish anymore, "I'll see you tomorrow, Artemis."

The line went dead and Artemis sighed. He had hurt her again, though she'd never admit it. But he was sick unto death of lying to her and he could not bring himself to do it again just yet, in the darkness that had always been such a friend to them.

***

Morning arrived in shades of crimson and gold, as if nature had acquired an artistic eye and had chosen the shades specially to complement the autumn-touched trees that shaded the grounds of Fowl Manor. Angeline Fowl donned a wrap in deference to the chill and went for a walk with her husband, while Beckett took his football and dedicated the morning to practicing his goal-scoring. It had been suggested that Myles play opposite him to make up for the French homework, but as soon as Mr and Mrs Fowl had left, Myles announced that he was meeting a girl in town and left his twin in the lurch with a breezy clap on the shoulder. (The twinkle in his eye died somewhat when he learned that Juliet would be accompanying him. It is bad form to bring another girl on a date, even if she is a bodyguard.) So it was that only Butler remained to prepare brunch for Artemis and his guest, a fortunate turn of events as it meant that they could eat in the breakfast room without fear of discovery by the less informed members of the household.

Butler was worried. Holly's visits normally brought light to Artemis's eyes and an almost-human colour to his face, but this morning he was bone-pale and his eyes had the shadowed look of one who had slept poorly, if at all, the night before. This was more worrying than it might have been, as Holly had been inexplicably absent the night before. When Butler had finished setting the table and Artemis had stopped pacing, collapsing instead into one of the antique redwood chairs, the giant manservant hovered a moment by his employer's elbow.

"Artemis, are you alright?"

"What?" Artemis started, looking up from minute contemplation of a teacup.

Butler hesitated. Discretion was one thing, but really, they knew he wasn't blind. "Holly. Have you two had a fight?"

It could have been laughed off-for a second he could see Artemis thinking about it and the ghost of the retort rose between them. _Really, old friend, Holly and I make a point of having three fights before breakfast._ He took a deep breath as though to speak, but was distracted somewhat when his laptop turned itself on. This was an uncommon enough occurrence that it would have drawn their attention even if Foaly's face had not immediately filled the screen. He looked worried.

"Mud b…_man_," he lingered a little over the second word and Butler frowned, "Is Holly there yet? She's not answering her communicator and she keeps making the cutest efforts to shut down her locator chip. My big red dot over Fowl Manor keeps blinking on and off."

"I am expecting her any minute now," Artemis conceded, "But I'm afraid I am going to have to ask you to respect her privacy, Foaly." And he turned off the laptop, removing the battery for good measure. Butler was completely in the dark, but then, he often was where Artemis was concerned.

Foaly's locators were, as always, spot on. The glass doors of Artemis's breakfast room swung open and Holly appeared, jabbing repeatedly at a button on her helmet, "I am going to _strangle_ that medic. Even you humans have such a thing as doctor-patient confidentiality. I've been trying to lose Foaly all the way here."

"Really?" Artemis murmured, closing the laptop. Holly was rubbing her eyes.

"Being dead on my feet doesn't help. I need coffee," then she remembered, "D'arvit!"

"Decaf," Artemis moved to the table, busying himself with cups and saucers, his back to the room. It took him several moments to add milk and sugar, though as it could well have been the first cup of coffee he had fixed in his life, this was understandable, "The taste will jog your body's memory an achieve a false sense of wakefulness. A placebo effect, in short."

Holly swallowed the hot liquid in two mouthfuls, wincing as it burned her mouth. A second later she jumped and nearly dropped the cup as Foaly's voice emanated from the laptop, "So it's true, then?"

Artemis stared at the battery he still held in his hand, "Impressive."

In Butler's defence, a better man than he would have been bursting with curiosity, even without the added concern of his employer's safety. Perhaps Holly was aware of the superhuman effort it took him to remain silent. She half-turned so both he and the closed laptop were in her line of vision, "Yes, Foaly. It's true. Artemis and I…we're going to…I'm pregnant."

Butler locked eyes with Artemis. After a second or two, his charge have a minute nod. Butler smiled, "That's…fantastic news," watching Holly smile, his exclamations gained fervour, "Congratulations!" he stepped forward and clapped a hand on Artemis's shoulder. Artemis gripped it hard.

Foaly was speaking again, "…Caballine told me what one of the fairies at her palates class was shouting about, I thought it was just another rumour. Like the one about you recreating the old cell in the basement for…entertainment purposes, Mud Man," Artemis raised an eyebrow, "Speaking of entertainment, you're not saying much, my would-be technological rival. Have you thought about the…complications?"

"I thought about little else last night," Artemis took a deep breath and knelt, "Holly, you are one of the bravest people I know. You risk your life every day. To expect you to show any less courage in the face of this…gift, it was unworthy of you. The fact is…" he swallowed, looked down, met her eyes again, "I don't like to think about what's left of me, without you. I don't want to risk finding out. But that's not my decision. I need to learn to trust your judgement," he smiled with just the barest glint of his incisors, "In matters outwith my expertise, at least."

Butler suddenly became very interested in buttering himself a croissant, blinking hard as he did so. Foaly's tone was one of grudging approval, "Very pretty, Artemis. You should write poetry. I take it I'm not to be concerned with the batch of abortives you were cooking up in your underground lair last night, then?"

Holly's eyes flashed to the cup in her hands, then to the man before her, "What is he talking about, Artemis?"

"You have nothing to worry about," he covered her hands with his own, "It was just coffee. Frightfully low quality, but it is difficult to find decent decaf in Ireland. I had a-very brief-lapse of judgement. I entertained notions…but that's over now, I promise you. In my defence, you are still teaching me how to be a decent human being."

"So that's what you threw out this morning," Butler commented mildly, "I did wonder."

"You're taking this all very calmly," said Foaly.

"Thankyou," said Butler and Artemis together.

"I think he means me," Holly told them, rolling her eyes. _Men_, "I know. But it's _Artemis_. When he only _almost_ does something unforgivable, it's more a cause for congratulations that anything else."

Which was mildly insulting, the young man reflected, but far less so than he deserved.

***

As soon as they were alone, Holly hit him.

"_That_ is for almost killing our baby."

Artemis rubbed his arm-he was fairly certain she had just punched an old bruise, "I thought you said…"

"I _know_ what I said. We have to put up a united front from now on. People are going to take the mick out of us enough without them seeing us fighting every five minutes."

_What _is_ this 'mick' anyway?_ Artemis thought. Aloud, he said, "So I'm not forgiven, then?"

"You have some grovelling to do," Holly allowed, though her hand had wormed its way into his own and she leaned against him in a way that implied the grovelling might not be of an entirely unpleasant sort.

After a moment or two, he said, "My father's family runs to boys, you know. But you and I never have conformed to tradition. I don't know how names are chosen among the people, but I was thinking-if we were to have a girl-that we might call her Miriam."

"Miriam," Holly said the word slowly, tasting the syllables, "Is that Arabic?"

"Hebrew, actually. It means 'wished-for child'. So that she'd always know…that we wanted her."

"Miriam," Holly tried it again. _Wanted. Desired. Yearned-for,_ "It's a pretty name. Fancy, but I suppose your mother is called Angeline. I'll think about it. And I'll tell you what," she smiled up at him, "If it's a boy, we'll call him Diana."

Artemis blinked. He had wondered if her gift of tongues would be affected by the loss of her magic, but this seemed an odd error to make, "You mean Artemis, of course."

"No I don't!" Holly snorted inelegantly, "You and your father already have the same name and Frond knows how confusing _that_ must be. I'm not about to make things worse. I thought Diana and Artemis were the same person anyway?"

"It is the Roman equivalent…" realising that this was not the way to make his case, Artemis backtracked, "Holly, Diana is a _girl's_ name."

She looked at him very sternly, "You've spent the last twelve years telling me what an honour it is for a man to be granted the name of the virgin huntress. Were you lying? _Again?_"

"No, but…"

"Artemis, I don't want to argue. It's bad for the baby."

The man subsided, though his face went through the most interesting set of contortions as his features tried to decide, once again, how to arrange themselves. It was an effect Holly had never tired of being able to produce and one which she anticipated seeing many times in the coming months. The scans performed by the People on their pregnant women were far more sophisticated than these click-and-bounce things the Mud People were currently experimenting with. The sex of the child, and much more besides, were known from the word 'go'. But she had months as a hormone-addled whale with no magic to speak of ahead of her, and it would provide some much needed amusement to wipe the smug look off his face once in a while.

Once she got too big to do it the traditional way, that is.

**A/N:** So that began much darker than I intended and somehow spiralled into uncontrollable silliness. I do apologise for the last bit, but I just couldn't resist. I


End file.
